Runnin On Empty

JUMPING NOT JUMPING                                                                                                   WORKING                                       NOT WORKING                                                               SHOPPING NOT SHOPPING                                                             BEFOR...

As it gets towards the weekend and a lot of my working online friends are getting excited at the thought of a break looming, of party invitations, welcomed family get togethers (as opposed to the unwelcome ones) a Saturday night out, stag/hen weekends, shopping trips into town etc. I find myself automatically joining in, posting up funny pictures that say TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) or a status of “Yaaaaaaay it's the weekend”. I don’t know why I still do this automatically because…well…its automatic, but I guess it’s an unconscious scream that says “I don’t want to have M.E/FIBRO, I still remember what it felt like to have a weekend off and I want to be like you and if I join in with your excitement then just for a few seconds it makes me feel normal” (Although the word normal & me are rarely found in the same sentence) The problem with having an illness where you can't go out to work, means that days and times that were once little puddles in their own right, now...

                                                                        I’ve found the easiest way to  describe the lack of energy problem that comes with M.E is to ask  people to imagine they have a large oxygen cylinder strapped to their back that’s filled with their quota of energy for that day and once it’s used up, it’s a bit like a computer game, you’re wiped out, finished, cant do anymore.  Now a healthy person is blessed with a  full tank.  But someone with M.E isn’t, they only have a little, if any. Everyone's different, so some of us may be lucky to have half a tank while others barely even get off the starter mark.      When it comes to M.E & sex , it’s a hard one (No pun intended) For many of us its not even on tha “to do” list because...

It's very easy when you suffer with M.E  "foggy head" to get things muddled up. I'd go as far as saying there are days when I am without doubt a health and safety issue ....and I have tha burn marks to prove it, from where i stick an oven glove on one hand and open the oven door with it and with the other gloveless hand pull out the uber zuber hot tray before yelling "Ouch" or words to that effect. Then there's putting the milk in the cleaning cupboard and the bleach in the fridge.......turning the tap on and then wondering off  in a fart in a trance like daze before suddenly being smacked back to reality by the noise  of running water...running water that's now running over the kitchen/bathroom floor, and panic breaks out as you  rush to turn the taps off while not falling ass over tit on tha soap suds beneath your feet. I could dedicate a whole Youtube channel to my faux pas if someone was filming them.....thank goodness for me nobody is. But  wi...

I knew it would happen from the moment I got ill & I don’t know what made me panic the most, actually becoming ill or knowing what was about to happen….…you see I knew I was about to become a “Lesser person”    People don’t treat you very good when you’re a “lesser person” of course its not intentional in most cases, its just an automatic reaction. For a healthy person life goes on, everythings at a certain pace, cant find something that was there a minute ago?, buy a new one, move on, everything's disposable , including people that can't keep up.                             We’re like loose change, left behind somewhere or other, someone might just look for us if we’re needed, if they have time, but more than likely not.  We are no longer equal, we fall out of the “normal” rat race, out of the loop, its like we’re almost demoted to pet status, having very little use in tha worl...

Halloween? Piece of cake………M.E? now that’s scary,  & unlike Halloween our nightmare lasts longer than one day a year. But before I discuss that, I have some good news…sound fanfare……….Having recently been interviewed by BBC introducing & having tha M.E track “I cant stant Tha rain” played , Tha Lets-do-it-for-ME  team  & other members asked if tha clean version with tha  “F” word beeped was available for download & I said it wasn’t, it was only available from me personally for media purposes. Only tha explicit version is available for download wordwide.                                       So after a little discussion, An   Invest In ME   charity supporter has come forward & offered to pay for tha first 50 downloads, so they are available free for awareness to really get tha message out there, so tha first 50 requests will ge...

So there I was this afternoon Tuesday 23/10/2012 having my usual, boring, frustrating, but necessary rest courtesy of illness M.E when I was woken by a loud explosion……when I say woken, it was more of a  speedy cartoon fly off tha bed, hit ceiling and land back with a boing oing oing oing! Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to live near Warner bros film studio here in Watford, its given hours of conversational pleasure over tha years. Tha  time I stood shoulder to shoulder with Pierce Brosnan in tha local pub one lunchtime….                                                it would have been better if I’d known at the time, I couldn’t quite work out why everyone tha opposite end of the bar were nodding their heads at me, waving, pointing & smiling. I did casually glance to my side, but being short I didn’t look up at his face, I just saw a suit and car...

     M.E.......      There's Only One Mode In My Abode.....& That's       Sloooooooooooooow. xxx

If you walked into a room full of people holding a pussycat, you would pretty much expect an automatic response of ooohs and aaaaahs, I’d go further to say there would be a majority of those that wanted a stroke and those that wanted a hold because most of us are familiar with cats, and even if we don’t own one we pretty much have an understanding of a cat, it’s rare that tha presence of one provokes a negative response. (Unless its sh*tting on my lawn of course in which case I automatically  wave my arms about & bang on tha window shouting out incoherent ranty stuff like a demented woman) Now rewind and go back into that room holding a rat, and I would guarantee you the automatic response would be eeeeeeugh, shudders, and “keep that thing away from me” Tha automatic response has come from what we’ve been fed throughout tha years via history & media, It’s fed to us in a way that’s caused scaremongering and prejudice. Many people associate cat =nice, rat =bad...