Runnin On Empty

JUMPING NOT JUMPING                                                                                                   WORKING                            NOT WORKING                                                               SHOPPING NOT SHOPPING                           BEFORE M.E                              WITH M.E                      & FINALLY, STILL TRYING TO LOOK ON THE POSITIVE SIDE.....            STAY BLESSED, BACK BEFORE ELVIS ;) XXX

As it gets towards tha weekend and a lot of my working online friends are getting excited at tha thought of a break looming, of party invitations, welcomed family get togethers (as opposed to tha unwelcome ones) a Saturday night out, stag/hen weekends, shopping trips into town etc. I find myself automatically joining in, posting up funny pictures that say TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) or a status of “Yaaaaaaay its tha weekend”. I don’t know why I still do this automatically because…well…its automatic, but I guess it’s an unconscious scream that says “I don’t want to have M.E/FIBRO, I still remember what it felt like to have a weekend off and I want to be like you and if I join in with your excitement then just for a few seconds it makes me feel normal” (Although tha word normal & me are rarely found in tha same sentence) Tha problem with having an illness where you cant go out to work, means that days and times that were once little puddles in their own right, now suddenly

                                                                        I’ve found Tha easiest way to  describe tha lack of energy problem that comes with M.E is to ask  people to imagine they have a large oxygen cylinder strapped to their back that’s filled with their quota of energy for that day and once it’s used up, it’s a bit like a computer game, you’re wiped out, finished, cant do anymore.  Now a healthy person is blessed with a  full tank.  But someone with M.E isn’t, they only have a little, if any. Everyones different, so some of us may be lucky to have half a tank while others barely even get off the starter mark.      When it comes to M.E & sex , it’s a hard one (No pun intended) For many of us its not even on tha “to do” list because quite frankly with so little energy we have to prioritise it, basic things, things that a healthy person does automatically without even a thought, like cleaning our teeth, taking a shower/bath, combing our hair, etc  an

It's very easy when you suffer with M.E  "foggy head" to get things muddled up. I'd go as far as saying there are days when I am without doubt a health and safety issue ....and I have tha burn marks to prove it, from where i stick an oven glove on one hand and open tha oven door with it and with tha other gloveless hand pull out tha oober zuber hot tray before yelling "Ouch" or words to that effect. Then theres putting the milk in the cleaning cupboard and tha bleach in tha fridge.......turning tha tap on and then wondering off  in a fart in a trance like daze before suddenly being smacked back to reality by tha noise  of running water...running water thats now running over tha kitchen/bathroom floor, and panic breaks out as you  rush to turn tha taps off while not falling ass over tit on tha soap suds beneath your feet. I could dedicate a whole Youtube channel to my faux pas if someone was filming them.....thank goodness for me nobody is. But  with this i

I knew it would happen from tha moment I got ill & I don’t know what made me panic the most, actually becoming ill or knowing what was about to happen….…you see I knew I was about to become a “Lesser person”    People don’t treat you very good when you’re a “lesser person” of course its not intentional in most cases, its just an automatic reaction. For a healthy person life goes on, everythings at a certain pace, cant find something that was there a minute ago?, buy a new one, move on, everythings disposeable , including people that cant keep up.                             We’re like loose change, left behind somewhere or other, someone might just look for us if we’re needed, if they have time, but more than likely not.  We are no longer equal, we fall out of the “normal” rat race, out of the loop, its like we’re almost demoted to pet status, having very little use in tha world other than waiting for a pat on the head and a few crumbs to be thrown for which we