Runnin On Empty

  It's extremely exhausting when you have a motor inside of you that wont switch off and I remember the very first time I self harmed at eleven years old. I was lying on the bed absolutely knackered but  feeling as though I should be running a marathon. I'd tried  so hard to get things under control, even though I didn't really know what I was dealing with. By the age of  five I thought I'd go into boxing and that would help  release this enormous energy constantly pounding my body. I asked around but was repeatedly told girls weren't allowed.  I continued asking into my teens, but no trainer or gym would take me because they'd say it was illegal for girls. I could never get my head around it, it seemed so unfair . I later accepted an illegal underground bout, I'd been warned it was mismatched but I could make a few quid.  I wasn't bothered about the money I was just so excited to finally be getting in the ring and being allowed to get rid of this cons...

  Yes, as the title says, I'm neurodivergent......so what? I've never felt the need to announce it, shout it from the rooftops or become a content creator on the subject, so this post on it will probably be the last unless I'm asked or I feel there's a point and purpose that could help others. With or without the label I'm still me, I've always been me and those that have always loved me still love me and those who have always liked me still like me.....I think ? 🤣 There have been a few that have buggered off of course but if it's the right thing for them, then I'm happy for them and wish them nothing but love and a good life, it will certainly be quieter without me. Like many I was late to the party when it came to a diagnosis some years ago now, and what an incredibly chaotic rollercoaster ride of a party it's been.Having often thought of myself as a weird little shit or/and an annoying little shit growing up, I've always struggled when it com...