Sticky Nutz & Other Scenarios
Tha other day I walked into the lounge
drinking my coffee when some dude on the television declared “Today I’ve got
sticky nuts” . As the coffee sprayed
out of my nostrils, my first thought was “ yeah it has been rather hot today
and I’m a bit sweaty too, but hey, not something I’d want to share with the
nation”.
He then proceeded to pick up a packet of
pecan nuts, shake some into a pan, & add some butter & runny honey, ”Oh, THOSE kinda
sticky nuts?”
Its easy to jump to assumptions, see what you want to
see, hear what you want to hear, and none more so than when it comes to
M.E. As humans we have automatic expectations so It’s very hard for
us to understand differently to that, but having a chronic illness doesn’t mean
you have to LOOK chronically ill, just as being disabled doesn’t mean someone
has to be in a wheelchair, but its what we expect isn’t it?
Before I became ill myself I probably
thought exactly the same way, so I do try to be forgiving of those that
struggle to understand why I retain my humour, why I still try to look presentable & keep up appearances ( I’ll have you
know it takes me ages to achieve the dragged out of bed look) …. & why I’m
not in a wheelchair.
Today on this lovely sunny morning I
walked to the local shops with my mother by my side, a 3 minute walk I’d say,
but it could’ve well been the wall of china for the enormous effort it took, I made sure
I looked presentable as I stepped out into tha world , because its about
dignity and self respect, and while I have little else I do still have that.
I
nodded my head, smiled and quietly said “Morning” to those we passed, even
those we didn’t know, just an old fashioned thing I picked Up from my parents
back in the day.

Nobody would’ve known I have a chronic
illness, partly thanx to tha wonders of self tan products & boots 300
electric plum lippy slapped on my face. But do we really know what anyone’s
actually going through, do we ever look beyond what we can initially see ? Its just a human trait that we need to see
proof, so I know that asking you to rethink something that’s ingrained isn’t
going to be easy, but then life is a challenge.
Before I became ill myself I had a music manager, a beautiful lady that reminded
me of tha actress Rula Lenska, she was a true lady in every sense of tha word. Ten
weeks after her wedding she passed away from Cancer. I knew of course, I
remember tha day I got that letter from her “This is the hardest thing for me
to tell you but…” nobody would’ve known,
even when it spread from her lungs to her brain she still made sure she looked
a million dollars. I admired her greatly & I think despite age & life
style difference we gelled because we lived by the same ethic, whatevers going
on in your life, the show must go on.
Another example is of a big issue seller
that I once befriended. Every week I would stop and say hallo and purchase a
magazine from him & at Christmas I
would give a card & a little gift, all I knew was his name “Paul” and every
week the people I was with would make remarks about me wasting my money, how
the seller was fat so he obviously wasn’t going hungry & he was well
groomed
so he obviously wasn’t that hard up, It used to make me so cross.
so he obviously wasn’t that hard up, It used to make me so cross.
Then one day I struck up conversation
with Paul & he told me his story. He’d been a normal family man living in
Scotland with his wife, he admitted he worked long hours on the railways maybe too long
but a mortgage & living expenses weren’t cheap and he wanted to build a
nice life for himself & his wife because he believed that’s what a man
should do, & then he came back from work one day to find a
note, his
wife had met someone else and gone. He sunk into a desperate
depression, started drinking and not going to work, not paying the mortgage
& he lost the house & found himself out on tha streets.

His Uncle had become poorly and was in
need of a carer so to give Paul some purpose and try and help him back on his
feet he moved back to the Hertfordshire area and unofficially looked after and
lived with his Uncle, he didn’t claim any benefits, his uncle gave him a roof
overhead,food & a bit of pin money in return for his care, but then when
his Uncle died, the council told Paul he
had to leave & because they didn’t
even know about him he wasn’t entitled to housing, he’d have to go on a list,
and fill out lots of forms, Paul was too embarrassed to say he was dyslexic and
couldn’t read or write well, so he went
back to live on tha streets until the Big Issue came to his rescue, so he had a
regular job and a bedsit and some dignity again.
He thanked me for always stopping and
giving him tha time of day and not judging him like most did & I realised
tha importance of that. See, just like “Sticky Nuts” not everything is necessarily what it seems,
we’re all individual people with individual stories trying to get by in life
with tha challenges that are placed before us, if we could all be a little
kinder, look a little further than tha exterior before making judgments , I
know from my own illness that it would make a big difference.
Thanx for reading, Stay Blessed, Back Before Elvis xxx
''Stay blessed too '' <3
ReplyDeleteThanx TJ, luv N hugs to you too :) xxx
ReplyDelete