Dream Sarni


I’m gonna make a sarni, that’s right up to the sky

With all my favourite fillings a hundred slices high.

I’ll start with peanut butter, mashed banana, strawberry jam,

I’m a vegetarian so I better not have ham.

Egg mayonnaise and chocolate spread and sweet corn mixed with tuna

And I’ll cover it in ketchup, coz it’s red and I’m a gooner

But I’ve also squashed a yellow and black & red ice cream cornet

In My Sarni coz I’m Watford & If you’re Watford You’re a Hornet

Gotta have some hash browns somewhere in the mix

I thought I’d have just two or three but ended up with six.

Creamy mashed potato and half a tin of beans

Best not have a whole one or I’ll be trumping in my dreams.

Marmite and marshmallows, carrots, grated cheese

Onions, leeks and garlic, avocado, mushy peas,

Spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, and throw in branston pickle

And sherbet flying saucers coz they make my tonsils tickle.

Pancakes, mustard, lemon curd, cashew nuts with honey,

I’ve poured it over everything, sweet, sticky and runny.

Marzipan and sausages and crisps to make it munchie,

In fact I used ten packets coz I like my sarnies crunchy,

Everything that’s scrumptious I’ve crammed into my butty

There are those who’ll think it’s wonderful and those who’ll think I’m nutty

So...I made it all, and ate it all, not a crumb left on the plate

But I’m gonna bring it up again, so I better g..........BLUUUUURRRR....Whoops too late .


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